Angels Part 4: Jen
I have had the benefit of learning from many great Residence Hall Directors (RHDs) and housing professionals thoughout my time working in Residence Life as a student and a professional. My friends and I who were students "growing up in the biz" would all describe the same phenomena:
There were a group of mentors we learned from, not just one or two.
These mentors could easily be listed and given a sound tribute here on this blog. And although I'm not in the market of a Top listing of mentors, or showing who my favorite advisors were/are, I will say that there is one advisor whom I've only had the chance of working with for one year closely, whose lessons and mantras seem to keep coming back more than others.
My last year as a student at UW Oshkosh, I was the National Communications Coordinator/Wisconsin Communications Coordinator (NCC/WCC and for reference and love for my own hands, let's just call me an NCC).
It was the coolest position on the planet. I got to travel to different schools for conferences, meet students from other schools, talk about leadership issues and plan leadership initiatives, and choose a team of folks to attend conferences to have fun and learn. And I got paid for it! I had fortunate timing with my election into the position. I followed two great NCCs:
Jason McKean who did a good job laying a foundation of organizing delegations and opening the experience up to many new leaders.
Jim Droste who built upon that success and even finessed a lot of procedures and activities so that by the time I came around it was less about learning and more about doing.
The work of those two help bring a lot of street cred to Oshkosh as well as some great recognition. At the time I took the reigns from those two high class gentlemen, I had already attended a total of 9 conferences (which would be three a year for three years, not often done). Needless to say from having seen a lot of conferences and having a good basis for what to do from watching Jim and Jason, there was little guidance or advising necessary.
Enter Jen Cecich. Jen was a 3rd year RHD at the time. She was fairly well known by the general group of leaders at large by being a fair and assertive woman. She was also a great homemaker and her apartment always was a comforting and relaxing (and well decorated) place to be. I'll never forget when Jen and I first talked about working together, I was shocked at what she said:
"Truth is, you know way more about this stuff than I do...so I'm not gonna get in your way, however when you need me I'll be there."
I praise Jen highly because I believe that Jen knew a lot about the people she worked with. I think she took time to watch and observe. I think she was patient enough to let others act they way they needed to, not feeling a slight toward her own style (you don't see much of that these days...many professionals often feel that one natural act of your style is a slight against theirs even if it doesn't affect them).
Jen was patient. Jen knew that despite my confidence and intentness in my experience and knowledge, I would eventually come to her...even if I didn't know it. We didn't have regular one on one meetings, she would shoot me an e-mail asking me how things were...coincidentally they usually came when I needed to chat with her. She was never interrogative. However, and one of the areas I most respect her, she had no problem telling it like it was. She knew my personality could be rambunxious...but when it came to be "normal time" she could get me to slip into it rather uncousciously.
My favorite specific story from here came when we were planning for NACURH 2000 in Colorado. At the time Oshkosh had a tradition of "got ___?" t-shirts starting since GLACURH 1998 when we did "got pirates?" (it was a play off of the themes of conferences where many delegations dressed up and did spirit and unified things based upon the theme). This was to be our 6th "got ___?" t-shirt and our delegation of 18 was pretty excited about it. At a lunch meeting Jen dropped the bomb:
"So I'm just gonna tell you, but you guys can't do those t-shirts anymore. I'm not gonna try to convince you of any philosophy, I'll simply say that the department thinks the theme is outgrown and they're not willing to sponsor the idea." Seeing that I was seething from her information she stated "You're angry aren't you?"
I wanted to rage, I wanted to roar. I thought that the department was out of touch...many schools knew we were the "got ___?" school. I was even sure that many folks were looking forward to be a part of the "got ___?" history. She allowed me to be angry. And I did, in fact I was the one who tried rationalizing and philsophizing. Jen was calm the whole time. She wasn't defiant. She didn't try to talk me out of my frustration. When I was done she did something I wasn't expecting at all.
"I'd be more than happy to tell the delegation and have them be angry at me if you want me to."
This is any student leader's dream. It's hard to face your peers and tell them something that will go against what they are thinking. It's difficult to be the bad guy. And to have an advisor do it, you know that there would be no way of receiving any flack, furthermore, you get to rally on the other side and enjoy the bad news together. But that was not how I wanted it to go down. And I told her I would do it.
Really, once I had thought of what I was going to say, only a couple folks were really pissed. The beauty was that the one person who was so pissed they didn't care what it was that I said went to talk to Jen, who not only backed me up, but also got him to quell down instantly. No yelling, no out-witting each other.
Jen was the ultimate Jedi-Master. What I hadn't realized until later that Jen had set up many transitional learning experiences for me that were preparing me for a life as a graduate professional. She was a teacher who allowed me to be myself and grow naturally while providing opportunities for me to do so.
I've talked about mentoring before...in your jobs mentoring takes two parts: 1. Knowing your "student" 2. Knowing when to mentor and be mentored. It's patient process. Look for those learning moments not as a moment to lecture, but as a moment to allow your mentee to take it upon themselves to learn.
I thank Jen for the patience and understanding she's always exhibited, something for all of us to strive for.
pb
There were a group of mentors we learned from, not just one or two.
These mentors could easily be listed and given a sound tribute here on this blog. And although I'm not in the market of a Top listing of mentors, or showing who my favorite advisors were/are, I will say that there is one advisor whom I've only had the chance of working with for one year closely, whose lessons and mantras seem to keep coming back more than others.
My last year as a student at UW Oshkosh, I was the National Communications Coordinator/Wisconsin Communications Coordinator (NCC/WCC and for reference and love for my own hands, let's just call me an NCC).
It was the coolest position on the planet. I got to travel to different schools for conferences, meet students from other schools, talk about leadership issues and plan leadership initiatives, and choose a team of folks to attend conferences to have fun and learn. And I got paid for it! I had fortunate timing with my election into the position. I followed two great NCCs:
Jason McKean who did a good job laying a foundation of organizing delegations and opening the experience up to many new leaders.
Jim Droste who built upon that success and even finessed a lot of procedures and activities so that by the time I came around it was less about learning and more about doing.
The work of those two help bring a lot of street cred to Oshkosh as well as some great recognition. At the time I took the reigns from those two high class gentlemen, I had already attended a total of 9 conferences (which would be three a year for three years, not often done). Needless to say from having seen a lot of conferences and having a good basis for what to do from watching Jim and Jason, there was little guidance or advising necessary.
Enter Jen Cecich. Jen was a 3rd year RHD at the time. She was fairly well known by the general group of leaders at large by being a fair and assertive woman. She was also a great homemaker and her apartment always was a comforting and relaxing (and well decorated) place to be. I'll never forget when Jen and I first talked about working together, I was shocked at what she said:
"Truth is, you know way more about this stuff than I do...so I'm not gonna get in your way, however when you need me I'll be there."
I praise Jen highly because I believe that Jen knew a lot about the people she worked with. I think she took time to watch and observe. I think she was patient enough to let others act they way they needed to, not feeling a slight toward her own style (you don't see much of that these days...many professionals often feel that one natural act of your style is a slight against theirs even if it doesn't affect them).
Jen was patient. Jen knew that despite my confidence and intentness in my experience and knowledge, I would eventually come to her...even if I didn't know it. We didn't have regular one on one meetings, she would shoot me an e-mail asking me how things were...coincidentally they usually came when I needed to chat with her. She was never interrogative. However, and one of the areas I most respect her, she had no problem telling it like it was. She knew my personality could be rambunxious...but when it came to be "normal time" she could get me to slip into it rather uncousciously.
My favorite specific story from here came when we were planning for NACURH 2000 in Colorado. At the time Oshkosh had a tradition of "got ___?" t-shirts starting since GLACURH 1998 when we did "got pirates?" (it was a play off of the themes of conferences where many delegations dressed up and did spirit and unified things based upon the theme). This was to be our 6th "got ___?" t-shirt and our delegation of 18 was pretty excited about it. At a lunch meeting Jen dropped the bomb:
"So I'm just gonna tell you, but you guys can't do those t-shirts anymore. I'm not gonna try to convince you of any philosophy, I'll simply say that the department thinks the theme is outgrown and they're not willing to sponsor the idea." Seeing that I was seething from her information she stated "You're angry aren't you?"
I wanted to rage, I wanted to roar. I thought that the department was out of touch...many schools knew we were the "got ___?" school. I was even sure that many folks were looking forward to be a part of the "got ___?" history. She allowed me to be angry. And I did, in fact I was the one who tried rationalizing and philsophizing. Jen was calm the whole time. She wasn't defiant. She didn't try to talk me out of my frustration. When I was done she did something I wasn't expecting at all.
"I'd be more than happy to tell the delegation and have them be angry at me if you want me to."
This is any student leader's dream. It's hard to face your peers and tell them something that will go against what they are thinking. It's difficult to be the bad guy. And to have an advisor do it, you know that there would be no way of receiving any flack, furthermore, you get to rally on the other side and enjoy the bad news together. But that was not how I wanted it to go down. And I told her I would do it.
Really, once I had thought of what I was going to say, only a couple folks were really pissed. The beauty was that the one person who was so pissed they didn't care what it was that I said went to talk to Jen, who not only backed me up, but also got him to quell down instantly. No yelling, no out-witting each other.
Jen was the ultimate Jedi-Master. What I hadn't realized until later that Jen had set up many transitional learning experiences for me that were preparing me for a life as a graduate professional. She was a teacher who allowed me to be myself and grow naturally while providing opportunities for me to do so.
I've talked about mentoring before...in your jobs mentoring takes two parts: 1. Knowing your "student" 2. Knowing when to mentor and be mentored. It's patient process. Look for those learning moments not as a moment to lecture, but as a moment to allow your mentee to take it upon themselves to learn.
I thank Jen for the patience and understanding she's always exhibited, something for all of us to strive for.
pb
posted by Peter Brooks at 11:33 PM
<< Home