August 28, 2008

Numeric Thoughts

366 reasons...that's all we need and yet we'll have more than enough when we actually sit down to do it.

366 reasons...a lot like a daily walk; a lot like a solid breakfast; a lot like slow, patient sunrise.

366 reasons...they should make us smile; they should tether us to the essential belief that no matter what happens in life, we are always we.

366 reasons...for some, it's the small stuff, the giggle of a child, the smile a grandma, the hug of a parent.

366 reasons...for some, it's the grandiose, a completed doctoral dissertation, an academy award, a completed building designed by your hands.

366 seems like one too many, but you never know when another 2008 (or 2004, or 2000) will ever come around, leap out at ya, like deer from the forest.

366's a task; it's diving through years, and decades of gray matter, swimming through liquid television dreams or sifting tiny precious gold flakes from a river of anxieties, stressors, and nightmares.

366 reasons...they are your own. And no one, can take them away.

366 reasons...when one burns down, or closes down, or shuts down, in life, in reality, in the mental terra firma that all politicians use for rhetorical platform...they are rebuilt, and grow larger, in your heart.

366 an apple, they'll keep the witch doctors of doom and despair away; keep your happiness regular; shine red (or green) at the thought of a new reason...for the tree will always grow, and a future physicist will always feel the weight of a memory strike the noggin' and roll down a hill.

366 get up and stretch.

366 say thank you, to those which carry names, first, last, middle, sur, nick, titles, misters, misses, aunts, uncles, grammas, grampas, and of course, even the cute little goldens who bark, wag, and nuzzle when we come home from a hard day of work.

366 do you measure the moments of life; easy, write them down, see them sprawled out on the floor before, or packed into wooden green box, or hung like tinsel around your favorite plant.

366 reasons...six more than a circle, yet you come round, back to square one, the tip of emotional triangle, or better yett, the food pyramid, for this food can never be consumed enough, and while it doesn't replace the great taste of a cheeseburger (or lasgna, or soufle), it will bring tastes back to you through a time machine.

366 laugh again. Heh...he he...ha...he...snicker.

366 reclaim, cause for a moment they are lost, not stolen, WHO STOLE one...they fall quietly, and can melt easily, if we don't take time to pack them in, roll them up, and build a Frosty with a corncob pipe, who smiles, in the cold, cause inside his warmth are the reasons you've created.

Months ago, I tripped, fell, was probably even shoved a bit. Or a lot. When you don't see it coming, when you're left to feel Frosty's cold, and no scarf to warm you, or even a top hat to keep your mind from freezing in pain...when you feel like you've lost it all, and who you are melts away from a spring start to did I do this before? What did I have?

And when your friends send, and family lends hearts, ears, start to remember...that at one point in your life, there were 366 reasons, to get up, and see that with each passing reason, a new one emerges...for, in all liklihood, we have more than a thousand...and for our remaining years, until a force greater than those who do us wrong, welcomes us with open arms, and a warm smile, and polite chuckle (at the time you locked yourself out of your dorm room after heading to the shower)....we will look back, and see the multiplicity of 366 grow.

And we will smile, once, 366 times...

While I haven't had the official chance to say it, to many of you, to my friends, or family, to those who saw the hurt, and helped through the pain, I want to say thank you.

And if you get a call, or a text message from me, in the next 275 days, you'll know, that your name, your spirit, your memory, or our memories, good times, funny moments, made it, and help me do better than make it, better than survive...

you remind me I'm alive...